A TikToker and her boyfriend have started an important conversation about dating within the transgender community.
Jayde McFarlane already had a big following on the app as a comedian, but one sentimental and somewhat serious video featuring her boyfriend, Tyler, has racked up nearly 9 million views.
The video was posted in response to a commenter who told McFarlane, “I don’t think [Tyler] knows, have you told him?” — suggesting that McFarlane was keeping her identity a secret from Tyler.
“Do you know that I’m trans?” McFarlane asked Tyler in the clip.
“Yeah,” he answered. “I know that you’re a perfect, beautiful woman, and you always have been. Is this one of those comments on TikTok again?”
McFarlane looked visibly emotional when Tyler answered. However, Tyler then took it a step further by explaining why comments like the one directed at McFarlane are anti-trans.
“First off, I want to say trans women are real women. They’re completely valid in their femininity,” Tyler added, looking right into the camera. “The fact that people think that just because someone’s trans and that I found out — or anyone found out that their significant other is trans — that [that] would take away or diminish the love they have for them [is] completely disgusting to me.”
“People take out their own insecurities and things they’re worried about from their past and try to apply it to this situation — [it’s] disgusting,” he continued. “Just because you’re unhappy in life doesn’t mean we need to be too.”
McFarlane told BuzzFeed that she receives negative comments “on a daily basis.”
“I wish people would realize how one rude comment can stick with someone forever,” she said. “I refuse to let online negativity affect me because it’s always coming from someone who’s uneducated or someone who’s going through a lot.”
The video’s comments were flooded with compliments on how well Tyler handled the rude comment, as well as how much McFarlane deserved that type of love.
“This is so perfect,” one commenter wrote. “He probably doesn’t realize it, but straight men seeing others openly dating us helps normalize it and stops hate against us.”
“People need to take notes on what true love looks like,” another wrote.
“In my community, relationships are such a hard topic for all of us, and I feel like me showing my relationship publicly lets other trans women and men know we can be loved and cared for, too,” McFarlane told BuzzFeed.
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If you enjoyed reading this interview, check out In The Know’s conversation with the first trans athlete to compete on an NCAA Division 1 men’s team.
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