A woman’s stepfather is mad that she doesn’t see him as her real dad.
She explained the ongoing feud on Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum. After her wedding, she kept her birth father’s last name. This infuriated her stepfather because it was another sign that she preferred her father, who died before she was born, over him.
“I got married recently, and I kept my last name. When my stepdad realized I had kept my name, he went through a bit of a weird phase where, for a few days, he was acting like I had done something to him. He confronted me about why I didn’t change my last name. My dad died before I was born. He never got to meet me. But he did name me, and I actually have his middle name. My mom remarried when I was nine. My stepdad came into my life the same year they got married. I never felt like I was missing out on a dad. I heard so much about mine, had so many photos and videos of him, it felt like I knew him.”
She tried to explain to her stepdad that he shouldn’t take it personally, but he persisted anyway.
“The fact I am now a married woman and still have the last name I clung so hard to as a kid has deeply upset [my stepdad],” she wrote. “He told me he was more my dad than my dad was, and I said while others may see that as true, while he may want that to be true, for me that isn’t true. That yes, he was actually there for a part of my life while my dad was there for the pregnancy, [but my dad’s] love for me still exists, and it doesn’t not count just because he never got to meet me. He told me to grow the f*** up and accept the fact he’s my real dad, not my ‘sperm donor.’ I told him to get the f*** out of my house.”
Reddit users thought she had a right to keep her last name.
“It’s difficult to tell where the problem is for your stepdad since I don’t know other details about your relationship. But it’s pretty common that people put significant value in very specific things, and it only causes tensions or open conflict,” one user weighed in.
“His jealousy of a dead man seems more concerning than your loyalty to your father,” another wrote.
“This is your stepdad’s issue and insecurities,” a person commented.
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