Nannies reveal the ‘big red flags’ that make them ‘automatically run’ from families: ‘So messed up’

Nannies are sharing the red flags that make them head for the hills, and parents should take note.

Shared to the subreddit r/Nanny, the post received hundreds of comments and upvotes from child care experts who were eager to share their nannying nightmares.

Now, much like the labor and delivery nurse who shared the shockingly inappropriate remarks she’s heard dads-to-be make in the delivery room, these families’ remarks are raising hairs all across the internet.

The original poster started off the thread with their own personal red flag: “Parents who discuss their finances in front of you. Like flaunting their wealth or trying to downplay it,” they wrote. “I don’t mean them having a conversation and you accidentally overhearing it. I’m talking about people who go out of their way to discuss money in front of you.”

From there, other nannies chimed in with their red flag experiences:

“Parents who are rude to their babies [because] ‘they can’t understand.’ Did a trial day with a NM [Nanny Mom] who kept calling her 12-month-old a ‘pain in the a**’ and ‘soooo annoying’ to her baby’s face!” commented another nanny. “A parent said in an interview that she already told parents they could bring their own kids over to ‘use’ the nanny. No mention of me being PAID for that service. I declined and joined an ACTUAL nanny share that paid me well,” another nanny wrote.

“‘We loved our last nanny because she was so flexible,'” wrote one nanny, adopting the voice of their employers. “‘If we needed her to stay late, we didn’t even have to ask!'”

“People who talk bad about other/former employees, and parents who have a short temper with their kids,” another nanny shared.

“‘We don’t ever say ‘no’ to our child,'” quoted another nanny.

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When the mom doesn’t even smile at you during the interview,” another nanny replied.

“‘We’re looking for someone to be a part of our family,’ aka underpaid, overworked and always at our beck and call,” commented one nanny.

“If you’re not willing to pay me like a professional, there’s no way you’re going to treat me like a professional…”

“‘Goes above and beyond,’ ‘self-motivated,’ ‘anticipates needs,’ ‘finds projects to work on,’ etc. No, I will not be reading your mind and doing things I wasn’t asked to do in someone else’s house? If you want me to do a certain project with the kids or a chore, you’re unfortunately going to have to communicate with me like I’m a person,” another nanny shared.

“Constant texting or calling about this or that ‘because they saw it on the camera.’ Like, yes, feel free to say something if it’s a safety hazard or something that [you truly feel] is wrong. But please do not text me saying, ‘Oh tummy time is X amount of time, not X amount of time,'” wrote another nanny.

“Employers who overshare on private/family stuff in the first few days/weeks,” commented one nanny.

“If they’re not OK with paying me above board through a payroll service. If you’re not willing to pay me like a professional, there’s no way you’re going to treat me like a professional,” wrote one nanny.

“[When] they always find a way to mention how ‘expensive’ I am, like I’m some kind of appliance,” one nanny answered.

“People who say [that] more than one nanny left unexpectedly, like, ‘We’ve had a nanny, but she had to move to France to take care of her cousin’s mom’s sister’s hamster who broke a toe … and then our second nanny had to be cast in the next Avengers as an extra and couldn’t do both.’ Stuff like that is an automatic run for me,” wrote another.

“A huge red flag for me is when (usually via agency job postings) I see included in the job description that the family is requiring someone ‘well put together’ or ‘who exudes professionalism in their manner of dress’ — when the job description includes three kids under 5. Their expectations seem unrealistic, like they are placing more importance on vanity than practicality … How do you expect a nanny to show up to work in her best attire and still feel comfortable getting on the ground for Legos or kicking around a soccer ball?” commented another.

“When a family’s house has young children or multiple young children and keeps their home either uncomfortably clean or spotless. That tells me they’re very likely Type A personalities, and we won’t work together very well,” shared another.

Hopefully, parents looking to hire a nanny take note of these red flags and make a point to always treat their nanny with the respect they deserve.

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